is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
