No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize