just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
