The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
