Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
