Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Randomize
