you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
