she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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