what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Randomize
