Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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