I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
