I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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