maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
