So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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