ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize