Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
