So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
