take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Randomize
