____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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