Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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