FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i just sent this text using only my big toe
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
