awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Randomize
