lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize