Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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