I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Randomize
