The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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