I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
