i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
