Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
