It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
