i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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