No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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