dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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