WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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