The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
In other news, I just burned my penis
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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