she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
