did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
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