yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
