just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
