I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
