3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
