My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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