Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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