I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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