something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
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