She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
