Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
