Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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