Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
