well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
