Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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