I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
