I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
