He asked me if I "almost moaned"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize