My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
