tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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