So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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