That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
