I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
