You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
