She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
