WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize