something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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