Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
