I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
