So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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