who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize