when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
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