I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize