He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The Olympian is in my bed
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
