it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
