why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Hippo gnu deer
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
