I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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